“We should throw these bastards out of our country! They have spoilt our culture. Our ancestors took pity on them and let them stay. And look what they do. They kill our brethrens; and rape our mothers and sisters! Don’t spare theirs’! Let their entire breed get terrified and not step out of their holes! This country needs your help my brothers, rise to the occasion, heed the call…” blared the recorder on my father-in-law’s desk. This was one of the speeches of his ‘Sanskaar Rakshak Samiti’ who considered themselves to be the saviours of our culture. They believed that India’s future lay in the hands of those sexagenarians and not in their younger generations’.
My five year old son woke up to this daily dose of crap. His grandfather was his idol, hence he considered himself to be a liberator too. I was sick and tired of this. I tried to reason with my father-in-law once. But it fell on deaf ears. That night my husband threw me out of our room for ‘being an ungrateful daughter-in-law’. I quit... Thereafter, I kept my opinions to myself.
Today was a bleak day. It rained incessantly. And the speech gave me creepy goosebumps. At that moment our doorbell rang. I opened it and saw one of those saviours outside, wet and dripping. He introduced himself as Krishnakanth and asked for my father-in-law who had gone to the temple. It was an unsaid rule that his friends were to be treated as family. So I invited him in, offered him dry towel and fresh pair of clothes, and asked if he would like to have something.
I went to the kitchen feeling awkward. No one was at home and I was alone with a stranger. Nevertheless, I started to prepare tea for him. My father-in-law treated his ‘friends’ with special home made cookies. It was in the upper-most shelf where I couldn’t reach. I tried to, but lost the balance and fell. Hearing the commotion, Krishnakanth came running to the kitchen. “Child, are you alright?” he asked from the doorway. I nodded. He came to me, caught my hand, and grabbed at my waist where my sari had come down. I recoiled and pushed him away. He said, “I was trying to help you.” I retorted, “I can manage, thanks!” He moved closer with a wolf like smile saying, “It’s okay, no one will know”. He was almost on me. I had sprained my ankle and couldn’t stand. Yet I dragged myself up and tried to run. He caught me from behind and rubbed his cheek and lips between my neck. I freed myself and ran out. He followed me. But before he could seize me, my father-in-law’s voice drifted in. He shot me a look of warning and went inside as if nothing happened. Smoke was coming from the kitchen. Our house stank of the charcoaled tea. I rushed in forgetting my pain.
My father-in-law walked in, followed by my husband and son, shouting, “What were you doing? Why is there such a mess? Focus on what you do instead of wasting time. What would be our guest thinking? He is the leader of our committee, whose speech we listen to every morning. You will bring disgrace to our family! Parth, control your wife before it’s too late!” saying so, he stomped away. My husband looked at me and shrugged. His eyes telling, “What am I to do with you?” He too walked away, with my son behind him, leaving me alone to fight my insult, injury and tears…
Monday, July 19, 2010
Capturing the wild
If someone told you that life is a series of memories strung together, would you agree?
You definitely would if you looked back at the instances when you have deeply wished to
yourself: ‘if only I could have captured this moment!’
Photography is an art of composing images built of a mass of light. A recipe for a good
photograph not only includes a good camera, but also a sound technical knowledge of
the equipment, a detailed understanding of the object in focus, and the ability to judge
the light, both natural or studio, to which the object is exposed to. An experienced
photographer first visualizes the image and then captures it as per the picture in his mind.
There are different forms of photography – nature, fashion, forensic studies, and so on.
Yet, no matter how diverse one type is from another, they have one thing in common: the
desire to capture the unique and the brilliant.
Wildlife photography is one of the most challenging forms of photography – a form that
pushes its pursuer to untold extremes to get the ‘perfect shot’. The result includes times
when we have look at an image and gazed at it in amazement, wondering how such a
beautiful sight could ever be captured in a photograph.
Imagine the picture of a tiger meandering through a low maze of dry grass at a sunset or
of a lazy python basking in the sun on a fallen branch. An image of such intensity is not
work of chance, but of a passionate person with patience, who knows exactly what he/she
wanted.
To capture the wild, one would need sound technical skills, like the ability to judge the
light and exposure correctly and good field craft skills. For example, some animals could
be difficult to approach or the condition could be such that the slightest hint of intrusion
could ruin the desired image. In such an instance, the photographer will have to conceal
himself in a way that the animal doesn’t detect human presence.
There are no set rules, which state that to capture a wildlife photograph you need a high-
end camera. In many cases, even basic equipment can serve the purpose. But in certain
instances, one would require specialist equipment, such as macro lenses for insects,
long focal length lenses for birds, and underwater cameras for marine life. Digital and
automated cameras have proved to be a boon to the photographers. Now all it takes is the
need to be at the right place at the right time.
You definitely would if you looked back at the instances when you have deeply wished to
yourself: ‘if only I could have captured this moment!’
Photography is an art of composing images built of a mass of light. A recipe for a good
photograph not only includes a good camera, but also a sound technical knowledge of
the equipment, a detailed understanding of the object in focus, and the ability to judge
the light, both natural or studio, to which the object is exposed to. An experienced
photographer first visualizes the image and then captures it as per the picture in his mind.
There are different forms of photography – nature, fashion, forensic studies, and so on.
Yet, no matter how diverse one type is from another, they have one thing in common: the
desire to capture the unique and the brilliant.
Wildlife photography is one of the most challenging forms of photography – a form that
pushes its pursuer to untold extremes to get the ‘perfect shot’. The result includes times
when we have look at an image and gazed at it in amazement, wondering how such a
beautiful sight could ever be captured in a photograph.
Imagine the picture of a tiger meandering through a low maze of dry grass at a sunset or
of a lazy python basking in the sun on a fallen branch. An image of such intensity is not
work of chance, but of a passionate person with patience, who knows exactly what he/she
wanted.
To capture the wild, one would need sound technical skills, like the ability to judge the
light and exposure correctly and good field craft skills. For example, some animals could
be difficult to approach or the condition could be such that the slightest hint of intrusion
could ruin the desired image. In such an instance, the photographer will have to conceal
himself in a way that the animal doesn’t detect human presence.
There are no set rules, which state that to capture a wildlife photograph you need a high-
end camera. In many cases, even basic equipment can serve the purpose. But in certain
instances, one would require specialist equipment, such as macro lenses for insects,
long focal length lenses for birds, and underwater cameras for marine life. Digital and
automated cameras have proved to be a boon to the photographers. Now all it takes is the
need to be at the right place at the right time.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Over-reacting
I'm sick
I'm tired,
I have prayed,
I have not strayed.
May be I'm over-reacting?!
I'm alone,
I fear,
No one to hear,
Only darkness near.
May be I'm over-reacting?!
I whine,
I pine,
You are tired,
You don't understand.
May be I'm over-reacting?!
I want an ear,
I want a heart,
I want your part,
To begin from the start.
May be I'm over-reacting?!
I'm paranoid,
I'm in corner,
No guts,
And it cuts.
May be I'm over-reacting?!
No faith,
Can't think straight,
Bad fate,
Which I hate.
May be I'm over-reacting?!
You cant see,
you cant feel,
You cant hear,
you are not near.
May be I'm over-reacting?!
Rejection,
Dejection,
Frustration,
Depression.
May be I'm over-reacting?!
A clown,
In town,
People laugh,
I cry.
May be I'm over-reacting?!
An arm,
An ear,
A lap,
Is all I ask.
May be I'm over-reacting?!
I'm tired,
I have prayed,
I have not strayed.
May be I'm over-reacting?!
I'm alone,
I fear,
No one to hear,
Only darkness near.
May be I'm over-reacting?!
I whine,
I pine,
You are tired,
You don't understand.
May be I'm over-reacting?!
I want an ear,
I want a heart,
I want your part,
To begin from the start.
May be I'm over-reacting?!
I'm paranoid,
I'm in corner,
No guts,
And it cuts.
May be I'm over-reacting?!
No faith,
Can't think straight,
Bad fate,
Which I hate.
May be I'm over-reacting?!
You cant see,
you cant feel,
You cant hear,
you are not near.
May be I'm over-reacting?!
Rejection,
Dejection,
Frustration,
Depression.
May be I'm over-reacting?!
A clown,
In town,
People laugh,
I cry.
May be I'm over-reacting?!
An arm,
An ear,
A lap,
Is all I ask.
May be I'm over-reacting?!
Sunday, June 20, 2010
My love... that you will never know...
Would you ever realise
That you are 'The One' for me?
Would you ever know
That you are 'The Love' I need?
Would you ever see
That my eyes are full of you?
Would you ever hear
That my heart beats for you?
Would you ever feel
That my breath is filled with your smell?
Would you ever find
That my skin is longing for your touch?
Would you ever get
That my lips are parched and waiting for yours?
You are next to me
A touch away
You are beside me
A hug away
Your breath is on my skin
But not for me
Is this how it's meant to be?
I love you and want to scream
To the world around I see.
But will you ever understand
That you are my elixir to live?
If I could, I would have snatched you,
from every love that came your way,
To make you mine, only mine.
But do you even know that I exist?
For you we are strangers,
But for me you are my desire,
My need, my want, my reason to live.
I love you and that's all for now I need...
That you are 'The One' for me?
Would you ever know
That you are 'The Love' I need?
Would you ever see
That my eyes are full of you?
Would you ever hear
That my heart beats for you?
Would you ever feel
That my breath is filled with your smell?
Would you ever find
That my skin is longing for your touch?
Would you ever get
That my lips are parched and waiting for yours?
You are next to me
A touch away
You are beside me
A hug away
Your breath is on my skin
But not for me
Is this how it's meant to be?
I love you and want to scream
To the world around I see.
But will you ever understand
That you are my elixir to live?
If I could, I would have snatched you,
from every love that came your way,
To make you mine, only mine.
But do you even know that I exist?
For you we are strangers,
But for me you are my desire,
My need, my want, my reason to live.
I love you and that's all for now I need...
To you
Am I still the one that you knew-
Or somebody different?
Am I still the name you take-
Or just another in the card?
Would you know me if I wear your shadow-
Walking behind you?
Would you see me if I were hidden-
In your heart from the world outside?
Would you still love me if I'm not what you want-
But an individual with free will?
Am I still the one-
Or somebody else...
Or somebody different?
Am I still the name you take-
Or just another in the card?
Would you know me if I wear your shadow-
Walking behind you?
Would you see me if I were hidden-
In your heart from the world outside?
Would you still love me if I'm not what you want-
But an individual with free will?
Am I still the one-
Or somebody else...
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Words
Why are words on strike today?
Why do they refuse to flow?
I wont be what I am
if they let me go...
I'm made by them,
For it's them, that have given me my soul.
My feelings expressed through them,
My ideas through them show.
I know people through them,
And the world through them I know,
If they go,then I'm gone,
I wont be what I am, any more...
Why do they refuse to flow?
I wont be what I am
if they let me go...
I'm made by them,
For it's them, that have given me my soul.
My feelings expressed through them,
My ideas through them show.
I know people through them,
And the world through them I know,
If they go,then I'm gone,
I wont be what I am, any more...
Monday, June 14, 2010
What god proposed and what man and woman disposed...
I have always heard that God created two amazing creatures - Man and Woman! And he also put a marvellous plan in place i.e., to create more of the same species, these creatures have to come together. The trouble is – to get them together… into a bond!
If Adam and Eve are our ancestors then I might be my husband's or boy friend's n-th generation sister!!! But then who cares? Even if you swear that you don’t need a guy to live on, your parents, siblings, relatives, neighbours, colleagues, and sometimes even friends (phew!!!) are desperate to get you laid! I think more than the parents it’s the aunts and cousins who have this itch that –‘Hey why is this one roaming free, when we all are screwed?! Let’s get her to kiss her happiness and freedom good-bye’. And these pile of 'well-wishers' stream into your house under the pretext of sympathy and rub a kilo of salt on your parents' cuts, wounds, bruises, scratch, and any damn opening in their body. If they find that these people are not wincing, then goes all the masala and tadka. Yikes!!!!
And the heat begins. Frantically your parents start searching guys for you as if there is going to be a great flood and all the male specie will be extinct after that. And in front of the society, it’s only their daughter who is roaming alone and virgin (so they think!), while all her friends, their friends’ daughters and the neighbours’ daughter are married with a bloated tummy! Lord! What a curse! So the main motive is to get rid of that curse. It begins with – a decent looking guy, with a decent background, good job and family. After a long search when the patience begins to lick the door of cold grave, the search pattern turns to - what the heck! Anyone is fine, as long as the doctor has certified that this creature is a man (!).
Now starts the grind. Matrimonial sites, greedy brokers, pestering aunts, concerned neighbours, nonsensical astrologers, blah blah blah, all compete with each other to make your life miserable. Every night you will crawl into bed after a battle with yourself, your sanity and insane parents who by now are convinced that either something is wrong with you or with your stars (poor souls, why cant people allow them to roam peacefully in their orbit?!!!). Funny as it may seem, for, when you see any guy’s profile your intuition says – uh oh… not this guy baby. You are wasting time pursuing this – But try putting this across to anyone, even the walls turn deaf! Your crying, cajoling, emotional blackmailing will all be attributed to the cursed time you are going through. All of a sudden the Gods take vacation, stars have a ball and your astrological chart turns astro-illogical. Every animal that you would have seen in zoo and in your fifth grade science text book attains holy position in your house. Each and every tree, stone, grass, mountains, and every shrine become your parents' favourite hangout. And there wouldn’t be a part left in your body which will not be carrying a holy thread or amulet.
You are dragged into a new phase, where you meet guys, which you despise. But for the sake of peace you succumb. You are hardly given a chance to say no, even to the ugliest pig on the block, and you are expected to gracefully swallow the insult of ‘checking and trashing’ that every 'eligible' guy you meet will do. The best thing? Yeah, your relatives mumbling under their breath – ‘how will anyone like her? Have you seen how she behaves? She is an arrogant useless woman! She doesn’t have any wife-like quality in her! And to top it she has high hopes! She should learn to compromise (which they will never allow their kid to do, even if he/she wants to).’ Tell them that you don’t want to stand in front of any guy ‘like a maal’ they would say ‘but beta that’s how it is. You know Meera aunty’s daughter met 20 guys before she got married. But now what? She is married to a good guy. He works in London.’ And you think, with your jaws touching the ground in your mind, WTF!
After fifth meeting your self respect starts waning. And your family’s discomfort will be on rise. To add fuel to this fire we all have a lion’s share of aunts and neighbours. So the hunt goes on, in full swing. And the rejection points keep adding to your list of ‘to-be-improved’ (and you complain why nobody likes you!) –
• ‘Oh, the girl is good, beautiful, but she will not be compatible with our son.’ And you have half the mind to say – ‘do you think that bugger even deserves me?!’
• ‘Oh the girl is short’- you think – ‘then marry Sushmita sen!’
• ‘Hmmm… She is good. But a bit on the heavier side’ – you think – ‘your son is no Salman. He will give complex to Adnan Sami or Walter Hudson’
• My favourite has and will always be ‘She is perfect to be my bride. But… she doesn’t know how to walk and sit’ – You think- ‘You want to marry or get me to walk on ramp!’
You fail to understand what your parents want. And especially the guys! Many a time I have heard my friends telling - men are from Mars and women are from Venus. If so, who the hell is from earth? Dinosaurs and eunuchs? May be. The former being the prospective in-law and latter, the guy you meet.
Your parents are confused and you are disillusioned. They go to every astrologer in sight, like an aids patient, who is fully aware that there is no cure for his/ her disease. This great man would be living in rags but predicts of your riches. One look at your parents’ faces and he knows – good, these people have a useless daughter who could not hook a guy till now- He closes his eyes, opens and runs them through your astrological chart, scratches his head because in front of a prospective client he cant scratch elsewhere and in a grave voice he will say – Her planets are dating the wrong planets in the wrong orbit. And their laying position is completely wrong (huh? - you think- will the 'congress of the crow' do?)! This is all because of her previous birth!’ Your previous birth history will be dug out from the grave, where your old body will be tossing and turning impatiently because of this nonsense. You will be made to feel sorry for something that you are not even sure if that existed. And even if it did, funniest part is, your parents of this birth will be paying price for what your parents in last birth did.
Well the fun continues. Every guy on the street now becomes your parents’ prospective son-in-law. Given a chance they will hang a board outside their house ‘Marry our daughter and avail a beautiful surprise offer. Hurry offer valid till our daughter lasts’. They start talking philosophy while you are losing your psychology. They ask you to bring someone but are scared what if you actually do. All possible doors are knocked, windows yanked, peep hole looked through, to find you a perfect match.
Finally the day comes. The guy meets the girl, the girl meets the guys, both like each other; the guy likes the girl and her family. Her family likes him too. The girl likes the guy and his family and his family too reciprocates. But the families fail to like each other!
Now begins another battle!
I think... God must have really been crazy when he created his two most wonderful creations...
If Adam and Eve are our ancestors then I might be my husband's or boy friend's n-th generation sister!!! But then who cares? Even if you swear that you don’t need a guy to live on, your parents, siblings, relatives, neighbours, colleagues, and sometimes even friends (phew!!!) are desperate to get you laid! I think more than the parents it’s the aunts and cousins who have this itch that –‘Hey why is this one roaming free, when we all are screwed?! Let’s get her to kiss her happiness and freedom good-bye’. And these pile of 'well-wishers' stream into your house under the pretext of sympathy and rub a kilo of salt on your parents' cuts, wounds, bruises, scratch, and any damn opening in their body. If they find that these people are not wincing, then goes all the masala and tadka. Yikes!!!!
And the heat begins. Frantically your parents start searching guys for you as if there is going to be a great flood and all the male specie will be extinct after that. And in front of the society, it’s only their daughter who is roaming alone and virgin (so they think!), while all her friends, their friends’ daughters and the neighbours’ daughter are married with a bloated tummy! Lord! What a curse! So the main motive is to get rid of that curse. It begins with – a decent looking guy, with a decent background, good job and family. After a long search when the patience begins to lick the door of cold grave, the search pattern turns to - what the heck! Anyone is fine, as long as the doctor has certified that this creature is a man (!).
Now starts the grind. Matrimonial sites, greedy brokers, pestering aunts, concerned neighbours, nonsensical astrologers, blah blah blah, all compete with each other to make your life miserable. Every night you will crawl into bed after a battle with yourself, your sanity and insane parents who by now are convinced that either something is wrong with you or with your stars (poor souls, why cant people allow them to roam peacefully in their orbit?!!!). Funny as it may seem, for, when you see any guy’s profile your intuition says – uh oh… not this guy baby. You are wasting time pursuing this – But try putting this across to anyone, even the walls turn deaf! Your crying, cajoling, emotional blackmailing will all be attributed to the cursed time you are going through. All of a sudden the Gods take vacation, stars have a ball and your astrological chart turns astro-illogical. Every animal that you would have seen in zoo and in your fifth grade science text book attains holy position in your house. Each and every tree, stone, grass, mountains, and every shrine become your parents' favourite hangout. And there wouldn’t be a part left in your body which will not be carrying a holy thread or amulet.
You are dragged into a new phase, where you meet guys, which you despise. But for the sake of peace you succumb. You are hardly given a chance to say no, even to the ugliest pig on the block, and you are expected to gracefully swallow the insult of ‘checking and trashing’ that every 'eligible' guy you meet will do. The best thing? Yeah, your relatives mumbling under their breath – ‘how will anyone like her? Have you seen how she behaves? She is an arrogant useless woman! She doesn’t have any wife-like quality in her! And to top it she has high hopes! She should learn to compromise (which they will never allow their kid to do, even if he/she wants to).’ Tell them that you don’t want to stand in front of any guy ‘like a maal’ they would say ‘but beta that’s how it is. You know Meera aunty’s daughter met 20 guys before she got married. But now what? She is married to a good guy. He works in London.’ And you think, with your jaws touching the ground in your mind, WTF!
After fifth meeting your self respect starts waning. And your family’s discomfort will be on rise. To add fuel to this fire we all have a lion’s share of aunts and neighbours. So the hunt goes on, in full swing. And the rejection points keep adding to your list of ‘to-be-improved’ (and you complain why nobody likes you!) –
• ‘Oh, the girl is good, beautiful, but she will not be compatible with our son.’ And you have half the mind to say – ‘do you think that bugger even deserves me?!’
• ‘Oh the girl is short’- you think – ‘then marry Sushmita sen!’
• ‘Hmmm… She is good. But a bit on the heavier side’ – you think – ‘your son is no Salman. He will give complex to Adnan Sami or Walter Hudson’
• My favourite has and will always be ‘She is perfect to be my bride. But… she doesn’t know how to walk and sit’ – You think- ‘You want to marry or get me to walk on ramp!’
You fail to understand what your parents want. And especially the guys! Many a time I have heard my friends telling - men are from Mars and women are from Venus. If so, who the hell is from earth? Dinosaurs and eunuchs? May be. The former being the prospective in-law and latter, the guy you meet.
Your parents are confused and you are disillusioned. They go to every astrologer in sight, like an aids patient, who is fully aware that there is no cure for his/ her disease. This great man would be living in rags but predicts of your riches. One look at your parents’ faces and he knows – good, these people have a useless daughter who could not hook a guy till now- He closes his eyes, opens and runs them through your astrological chart, scratches his head because in front of a prospective client he cant scratch elsewhere and in a grave voice he will say – Her planets are dating the wrong planets in the wrong orbit. And their laying position is completely wrong (huh? - you think- will the 'congress of the crow' do?)! This is all because of her previous birth!’ Your previous birth history will be dug out from the grave, where your old body will be tossing and turning impatiently because of this nonsense. You will be made to feel sorry for something that you are not even sure if that existed. And even if it did, funniest part is, your parents of this birth will be paying price for what your parents in last birth did.
Well the fun continues. Every guy on the street now becomes your parents’ prospective son-in-law. Given a chance they will hang a board outside their house ‘Marry our daughter and avail a beautiful surprise offer. Hurry offer valid till our daughter lasts’. They start talking philosophy while you are losing your psychology. They ask you to bring someone but are scared what if you actually do. All possible doors are knocked, windows yanked, peep hole looked through, to find you a perfect match.
Finally the day comes. The guy meets the girl, the girl meets the guys, both like each other; the guy likes the girl and her family. Her family likes him too. The girl likes the guy and his family and his family too reciprocates. But the families fail to like each other!
Now begins another battle!
I think... God must have really been crazy when he created his two most wonderful creations...
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