Happy Women's day

The man who calls himself the master of the world…

Once snuggly slept in a woman’s womb,

Born with her urine and poop,

And suckled at her bosom…

So before you lay your lusty hands on one more,

Or set your eyes on an innocent,

Know this…

The hands that gave you birth,

Could have strangled you in her feces!

PS: We don’t need women’s day to celebrate our identity! 

Blame it on Hormones

Remember that old bollywood dialogue that Nirupa Roy harped in every movie, “Mein ne nau mahine tumhe apne kokh mein pala hai…”? And we used to go rolling on the floor as if some poisonous laughing gas had hit us? Well, I am very much of a Nirupa Roy myself now. The only difference is that I have this huge load of hormones cruising through my body that makes me Vijayshanti at one instance and Nirupa at another!

Pregnancy is one of the most interesting experiences that a woman can have in her life. Even those who think that they need to achieve a lot before the Jr. hits them, would change (may be after an initial shock) to the most caring of the mothers. But with this change will also come change in their behavior.

No matter how much your husband or partner says that I understand you, believe me, he can never really get you. First three months of feeling constantly tired, cramps in your abdomen, regularly changing moods and emotions, morning sickness (note: puke till you drop) followed by next three months of bulging tummy, slow gait, but more energy, swelling feet, lesser stamina, more prone to getting affected by any micro organism, constant hunger, regular loo times during night breaking your sleep, and only two sleeping posture – left or right! And finally the last three months where your gait is slower, your body is heavier, stretch marks weave webs across your once smooth belly, your centre of gravity has shifted to your abdomen, for heaven’s sake you definitely can’t sleep in any other posture other than left and right, there is this constant pressure that you feel either in your abdomen or waist, and you are again back to being tired. To top it all you will either be constantly irritated or sad or throwing tantrums. Why? Of course hormones! What else?!

Wait! Before you think – My God! So much suffering?! There is a fun part to this too. And that is your kid! Bugger/ess will start moving by the time you are 7 weeks into pregnancy and you will start noticing it from 14^th week or definitely from 24^th week. The tiny twitch like feel, at first, progressing to push and brush and then aggressive kicks later will only bring smile to your face. It is when the power kicks happen, and your husband gets to feel does he get really excited about the entire affair. Still you are the person that is going to both bear and enjoy this and he is the person who will sympathize without knowing much.

One of the biggest benefits at this time is (especially if this is your first pregnancy), most people won’t expect you to work. You will be taken care off. You will become the centre of attraction. You will be allowed to eat anything unless your doctor has put any restriction. And putting on weight is mostly appreciated. And even your mood swings are okayed because everyone knows about those villainous hormones that are making rounds in your body.

Then this is just the beginning. The family will move off once you have delivered, you get back to your job with one more added responsibility – an Infant that needs 24X7 care, comfort and milk. And guess what, your hormones will still be active and awake, as they have to help you make more milk. So will be your mood swings.

So if anyone tells you – you have changed a lot after pregnancy – just blame it on hormones!

Killer

Beware when you whisper!
Because walls have ears...
They have tongueless mouth,
That can cause despair!

What is the worry?

Say it loud and bold!
Let your soul be free,
Let a smile unfold!

If you huddle in and blabber,
You are asking for trouble.
You are making foe of friends,
And yes, you will make them more.

As whisper is such a poison,
That kills a good mind!
It plants a worm in an angel,
And a devil is born!

In the corners

A spider weaves its web,
while whispers bounce around.
Its dark and dank,

While the corpses rot...

Someone spits,
Someone spews sperm,
A devil reads gospel,
While someone throws up...

A few meek people leave it to fate,
A few turn blind,
A few speak out,
And their soul is burnt..

The left-over

The dawn broke,
The rays crept,
My soul burnt,
With night's shame.

When darkness fell,
And all eyes closed,
I gave into fantasy,
That sent me to hell!

Now, the light's in,
Curtain's drawn,
Show-time over,
All that is left, is-
A broken mirror,
And a ruined make-up!

Crow Poop

A crow shat on my head,
And guess what I get,
A scoop full of its undigested crap,
And unbearable stink,
Which made people think - I am a tramp!
But is it my fault after all?
That the crow shat,
And on my head it had to fall?
Now I stink and they think I am unclean!
It is unfair because that is not me!
But aren't the humans supposed to be so-
Judgmental and mean?
Don't we all raise our fingers at someone,
For no fault of his?
So, a crow shat,
And like an apple, it fell on my head!

A schizophrenic's song

Have you met Mr. Victor Green?
Oh, he is the man you should meet!
Tall, dark and handsome...
And what luscious lips!
No, no... there is nothing feminine about him.
He is ever charming,
And always enticing...
He is a darling that you should see.
They say,
He is a figment of my imagination.
But do you know something?
Green is just another name in Victor's
But I have seen it on their faces.
They are pure jealous,
Because I am the one he chose!
You see that hill in the yonder?
He rides down from there
on his best stallion.
The kind about which you wouldn't have ever heard.
He tip toes into my dreams,
In the night that is silent and dead.
There beneath the open skies,
And shimmering stars,
He makes love to me.
Now, why do you have that look like others?
Oh you too are jealous?
Care should I,
That you don't believe?
Dare would you,
To tell he doesn't exist?
Then why not prove it to your reasoning mind?
Come home tonight...
There you will see Mr. Victor Green,
Oh, he is the man you should meet...

Writer's plea:
There is no one called Victor green.
No one has ever heard him or seen.
It is all in her mind.
There is nothing real!
If you love your life'
Please flee!
She doesn't spare anyone,
Who has gone to her house to meet Green!